Mean person Pictionary

Karl and I get together with friends every other month to play board games and eat junk food. Alas, the power went out where we had our last board game night, which then led to a bout of candlelight Pictionary. Here were some of the things we had to draw:


blasphemy
Reganomics
existentialist
epileptic
Charlie Sheen
World of Warcraft
transition
iconolcast
teenage pregnancy
post-partum depression
alter ego
truth
schmuck

There are more, but my brain already hurts thinking about last weekend's drawing exploits.

Upper dater

There's not really much to update. Karl and I survived the resulting haze from all of the southern California fires. We went to a wedding. We returned from the wedding, desperately wanting to move back up to northern California. The WGA is on strike, but not in front of Karl's office. Most of their scripts are "in the can" and already voiced. I'm going back to school next year, so I'm both excited and terrified at the same time, being that I'm pretty gun shy from my last attempt at graduate school. Karl and I are also headed to India for a couple of weeks. I'm looking forward to the trip, but it will be bittersweet. The last time I visited was in 2002. I won't be able to return until maybe 2011. A lot will have changed. A lot has already changed.

I also used my sewing machine for the first time. The inaugural project was a Winnie the Pooh baby blanket for a dear friend who is also an expectant mother. I spent two weeks cross stitching the pattern, and when I ran the sewing machine to finish it, I was thrilled. I now feel like my hands have gone arthritic with so much continuous stitching, which makes typing pretty painful.

Momma dropped me on my head and look what she did!

Karl and I are headed to San Jose at the end of the month for a family wedding. It happens to be the second one in as many months. The first was in Cleveland over the Labor Day holiday. The last time I was in Cleveland was for, surprise, a wedding, in 1994. That would make me 15 at the time. Over Labor Day Weekend, many family members approached me, "You may not remember me from the last time you saw me, but I'm your [insert family relation here]." You would think they have to constantly remind me about their identity because I was dropped on my head as an infant.

The sad thing is, I *was* dropped on my head as an infant.

You down with MPP, yeah you know me.

I went to my prom with this dude. No, not Stephen Colbert. Wait for it, wait for it... yeah, that dude.

What's your soundtrack?

A little over a year ago, I was sitting in Safeco Field in Seattle with the husband's high school friends. Karl's best friend asked us what song would serve as our intro onto the field to bat. I cannot remember what the responses were, but I was at a loss for an answer.

A little over a year later, I think I have an answer. For me, it would have to be Huey Lewis and the News's "Hip to be Square." I can see it, bat in hand, sauntering to home plate as the lyrics play...

"Don't tell me that I'm crazy
Don't tell me I'm nowhere
Take it from me
It's hip to be square"

It may not be the coolest song, but it works for me. Thank goodness I'm not a professional ball player.

Everything is coming up babies...

So here is a list of our friends who recently became parents.
1. Alexandre and Rachael had a beautiful baby boy on May 6, 2007.
2. Adrineh and Edmond had a beautiful baby boy on May 19, 2007.
3. Eric and Jill had a beautiful baby girl on September 2, 2007. Karl and I were actually visiting Eric and Jill in Cleveland, OH when Abigail decided she wanted to meet Karl and me while we were in town. That was crazy, but another story for another time.

Here is a list of friends who are going to be parents soon.
1. Holly (The Original Mrs. Ho-Nasty) and Jay are going to have a baby boy sometime around November 8th.
2. Peter (otherwise known as my sexy bitch) and Melissa are going to have a baby girl sometime in early January.
3. Phil and Angie are going to have a baby girl in mid-January. Abigail is no longer on their list of names.
4. Mandy and Billy are going to have a baby around February/March (I'm so sorry about my fertility goddess skills, Mandy. I had no idea until Eric mentioned it).
5. Brian and Annie are going to have a baby in February/March.

That's a lot of people. That's a lot of people I know. That's a lot of people that are going to have more people...

So the other story for the other time. Karl and I went to Cleveland, OH for the Labor Day weekend. Our itinerary consisted of attending my cousin's wedding and reception, attending a Cleveland Indians game with Eric and Jill, and taking Eric and Jill out to dinner. Friday was uneventful. Karl got a haircut. We fought traffic to LAX. We actually were fed on our flight. We rented a car and drove to Eric and Jill's house, where we promptly crashed.

In the grand scheme of things, Saturday was also uneventful. Karl and I had breakfast with Eric and Jill on their back deck. I tried to get out of going to the wedding, but alas, Karl and I got ready and were out the door. Eric played the Michigan fight song for us not once, but twice, on our way out the door. Jill officiated a wedding later Saturday. Karl and I arrived early Sunday morning at Eric and Jill's and, yet again, promptly crashed.

Sunday was not normal. The agenda originally was to wake up late, go downtown, see a baseball game, go out for dinner, catch up on goings on, and go to bed. The agenda changed at 9AM. Jill woke us up and mentioned there was much adventure in the middle of the night--she had contractions all night and into the morning. She and Eric were off to the hospital. Karl and I sat around Eric and Jill's house in some sort of a daze. Contractions? That did not register in our fuzzy minds... Karl and I sat and waited. Eric called and said Jill was under observation, but still wanted to go to the Indians game. The doctor said that was out of the question. Karl and I didn't want to go to the Indians game without Eric and Jill, so we trekked over to my aunt and uncle's house on the other side of Cleveland. While eating leftover wedding cake and good Indian food, my cell rang. I thought it was Eric, but no, it was my brother, calling to tell me there was an earthquake in SoCal. My aunt was coming to yell at me for being on my cell, so I had to hang up quickly. Here is the conversation that transpired:

Zubin: "Hey, I just lived through an earthquake!"
(My aunt spotted me on the phone... now walking over to yell at me to get off)
Me: "Um. I need to know if you're okay. Don't think that I don't love you, but I have to hang up. Like now."
Zubin: "Yeah, I'm okay. What's going on?"
Me: "Auntie is headed over here and she's not looking happy..."
Zubin: "Whoa. Yeah, you need to go. Bye."

Zubin, understanding the dynamic of Indian families, hung up. I tossed the phone to Karl and gave my aunt my most innocent look.

After a nice ceremony welcoming my cousin and her husband back to her childhood home, my phone rang again. This time, Karl answered it since it was in his possession. He nodded his head a few times, hung up, and told me we had to leave, Eric and Jill became parents and we should give them their house key. We said our goodbyes, jumped in the car, and sped down the Ohio Turnpike. We stopped at a grocery store to stock Eric and Jill's fridge with ready-made food and to get a bouquet of flowers. We stopped at the house, unloaded the car, and then drove off to the hospital. But before leaving for the hospital, I had to alter a card attached to a present we got for Eric and Jill. The card originally read, "Jill, Eric, and Baby," and was changed to "Jill, Eric and Baby Abigail."

Karl and I arrived at the hospital. Abigail, Jill, and Eric were doing well. Abigail was fast asleep. Jill was pretty talkative, but she said it was probably the drugs. Jill theorized that being on her feet for an hour officiating at the wedding the previous day was probably not the best thing for her. Eric was pretty darned excited, even if Michigan lost to Appalachian State the previous day. We spent some time with them, held Abigail and told her funny stories, then headed off to find a hotel for the night.

And that was the trip to Cleveland.

I don't wanna work, I wanna bang on the drum all day!

To prove how well standardized career tests work, I'm posting Karl's results. I totally think he needs to reevaluate his career goals.

1. Water Treatment Plant Operator (ooh, taking poo out of people's water)

2. Film Processor

3. Power Plant Operator (it was always his dream to emulate the great Homer Simpson)

4. Explosives Specialist (What guy doesn't want to blow shit up?)

5. Stationary Engineer (Whaaa? An enginner that doesn't move?)

6. Database Developer

7. Web Developer

8. Manufacturing Machine Operator

9. Business Systems Analyst

10. Avionics Tech

11. Video Game Developer

12. Computer Programmer

13. Multimedia Developer

14. Optical / Ophthalmic Lab Technician

15. Dental Lab Tech

16. Animator

17. Fashion Designer

18. Computer Animator

19. Graphic Designer

20. Artist

21. Upholsterer

22. Electrician

23. Medical Illustrator

24. Musical Instrument Builder and Repairer

25. Physicist

26. Environmental Engineer

27. Computer Engineer

28. Electrical Engineer

29. Biomedical Engineer

30. Film Editor

31. Computer Support Person

32. Printing Press Operator

33. Aerospace Engineer

34. Bookbinder

35. Desktop Publisher

36. Electrical Engineering Tech

37. Electronics Engineering Tech

38. Cartoonist / Comic Illustrator

39. Industrial Designer

40. Craftsperson

Matchmaker, matchmaker, make me a match! Find me a find! Catch me a catch!

I just took a career test. Here are the results, ranked by my interests. Some hit the nail on the head. Some really leave me wondering...

For those of you curious to do so:
-go to http://www.careercruising.com/default.asp;
-put in Username: nycareers, Password: landmark;
-take their "Career Matchmaker" questions.

1. Anthropologist

2. Website Designer

3. Sport Psychology Consultant (Huh? Being that I'm not all that athletic, and consultant is such a shady word...)

4. Lobbyist

5. Rehabilitation Counselor

6. Historian

7. Desktop Publisher

8. Humanitarian Aid Worker

9. Industrial Designer

10. Animator (Yes, of stick figures!)

11. Cartoonist / Comic Illustrator (Please refer to the detail in number 10)

12. Mediator (I already hold this job in my crazy family)

13. Interior Designer

14. Criminologist (Did I ever mention how CSI makes me cringe?)

15. Dental Assistant (Jeebus! Stick my hands in other people's mouths? I think not!)

16. Fashion Designer (I actually seriously considered this option when Karl and I moved out west)

17. Industrial-Organizational Psychologist

18. Multimedia Developer

19. Addictions Counselor (funny, I'm waiting on an acceptance letter to get this degree...)

20. Costume Designer

21. Human Resources Specialist

22. Religious Worker

23. Community Worker

24. Activist

25. Graphic Designer

26. Artist

27. Computer Animator (Karl would be so proud)

28. Psychologist

29. Print Journalist

30. Communications Specialist

31. Political Aide

32. Archivist

33. Writer

34. Public Policy Analyst

35. Exhibit Designer

36. Critic (of life?)

37. Library Technician (Is this a fancy term for librarian?)

38. Dispatcher

39. Translator (I did this one for awhile. Boy, some funny mistranslation stories to tell...)

40. Market Research Analyst

Virtual Reality Insanity

You would never know this, but I have issues with reality television. Yes, I have watched my fair share of trash. I remember the year Karl and I were glued in front of the television to watch "I Want to Be a Hilton" and "Average Joe 3: The Joes Strike Back." Christi had me addicted to the first season of "The Apprentice." I also harbor the guilt of watching every show from the first season of "My Super Sweet 16" (this was a low point in my life physically, emotionally, educationally, and psychologically).

Of course, loosely relating to Kenneth Burke, what is "reality"? Our terministic screen messes with reality since it's perceived in so many facets. What really happened? Did it really happen? With reality television, the wonders of editing can make the sweetest person look like a bitch. My favorite editing snafu as of late was a BBC special on Queen Elizabeth II. The dear Queen was in a photo shoot with famed photographer Annie Leibowitz. The special shows the Queen leaving the shoot in quite a huff, appearing to be rather ticked with Leibowitz. The BBC apologized to the Queen for misrepresentation in editing. So what happened?

Anyway, back to the gripe of reality television. CBS will be airing a program called "Kid Nation." My primary gripe with this is that, at least in my silly brain, has a scary resemblance to "Lord of the Flies." My other weak question: what good can come of this? Will I totally misinterpret this show like I did with "Dancing with the Stars"? I was sure "Stars" was too absurd and bound to flop. Oh, how wrong am I, five seasons later?

Not yet a girl gone wild, not yet sedate

Ever since Karl and I established a land line, we've been getting telemarketing calls just like the rest of the world. Our cell phones still serve as the catch-and-release tags for our family members. On our land line, we've gotten the regular calls for steam cleaning (not our responsibility, living in an apartment), refinancing our mortgage (owning a house out here... we'd have to give up a few organs and then some for a down payment), and for vacations (stupid Redondo Beach hotel selling our information). The best call, though, came from the esteemed organization of Girls Gone Wild, asking to talk to Karl...

This takes me back to when Karl and I first met. One of our first dates was to a GameCube launch party in Atlanta. He failed to inform me that it was sponsored by Maxim. As we enter, there are scantily-clad girls draped over large-screen televisions. The tragedy of the situation was that they were receiving no attention. At all. All but two of the party attendees (being Heidi and myself) were addicted to playing preview games and talking about graphics.

But I'm still wondering about Girls Gone Wild... and being in Los Angeles, you never know...